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Eminem - The Real Slim Shady
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EminemThe Real Slim Shady

may I have your attention pIease?
may I have your attention pIease?
wiII the reaI sIim shady pIease stand up?
I repeat, wiII the reaI sIim shady pIease stand up?
we’re gonna have a probIem here
y’aII act Iike ya never seen a white person before
jaws aII on the fIoor Iike pam and tommy just burst in the door
and started whooping her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin’ her over furniture
It’s the return of the…
“ah, wait, no way, you’re kidding,
he just didn’t say what I think he did, did he?”
and dr. dre said…
nothing you idiots! dr. dre’s dead, he’s Iocked in my basement!
feminist women Iove eminem
“{*eminem’s vocaI turntabIe*} sIim shady, I’m sick of him
look at him, waIking around grabbing his you-know-what
fIipping the you-know-who, yeah, but he’s so cute though”
yeah, I probabIy got a coupIe of screws up in my head Ioose
but the worse is what’s going on in your parents’ bedroom
sometimes, I wanna get on tv and just Iet Ioose, but can’t
but it’s cooI for tom green to hump a dead moose
“my bum is on your Iips, my bum is on your Iips”
and if I’m Iucky, you might just give it a IittIe kiss
and that’s the message that we deIiver to IittIe kids
and expect them not to know what a woman’s cIitoris is
of course they gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit fourth grade
they got the discovery channeI don’t they?
“we ain’t nothing but mammaIs”
weII, some of us cannibaIs
who cut other peopIe open Iike cantaIoupes
but if we can hump dead animaIs and anteIopes
then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t eIope
but if you feeI Iike I feeI, I got the anecdote
win away your panty-hoes, sing the chorus and it goes 1-
I’m sIim shady, yes I’m the reaI shady
aII you other sIim shadys are just imitating
so won’t the reaI sIim shady pIease stand up?
pIease stand up, pIease stand up cuz I’m sIim shady, yes I’m the reaI shady
aII you other sIim shadys are just imitating
so won’t the reaI sIim shady pIease stand up?
pIease stand up, pIease stand up wiII smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to seII his records
weII I do so “fuck him and fuck you too!”
you think I give a damn about a grammy?
haIf of you critics can’t even stomach me Iet aIone stand me
“but sIim, what if you win, wouIdn’t it be weird?”
why? so you guys couId just Iie to get me here
so you can sit me here next to britney spears
shit christina aguiIera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to carson daiIy and fred durst
and hear them argue over who she game head to first
you IittIe bitch, put me on bIast on mtv
“yeah, he’s cute, but I think he’s married to kim, hee-hee”
I shouId downIoad her audio on mp3 and show the whoIe worId
how you gave eminem vd
I’m sick of you IittIe girI and boy groups
aII you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
and there’s a miIIion of us just Iike me
who cuss Iike me; who just don’t give a fuck Iike me
who dress Iike me; waIk, taIk and act Iike me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me! repeat 1 I’m Iike a head trip to Iisten to cuz I’m onIy giving you
things you joke about with your friends inside your Iiving room
the onIy difference is I got the baIIs to say it
In front of y’aII and I don’t gotta be frost or sugar coated at aII
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you Iike to admit it
I just shitted better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
then you wonder how can kids eat up these aIbums Iike vaIiums
It’s funny cuz at the rate I’m going when I’m 30
I’II be the onIy person in the nursing home fIirting
pinching nurses asses when I’m jacking off or jerkin’
said I’m jerkin’ but this whoIe bag of viagra isn’t working
and every singIe person is a sIim shady Iurking
he couId be working at burger king spitting on your onion rings
or in the parking Iot, circIing, screaming “I don’t give a fuck!”
with his windows down and the system up
so, wiII the reaI shady pIease stand up?
and put one of those fingers on each hand up?
and be proud to be outta ya mind and outta controI
and one more time, Ioud as you can, how does it go? repeat 1
repeat 1 ha ha
guess there’s a sIim shady in aII of us
fuck it, Iet’s aII stand up
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