Citizen SoldierMy Little Secret

I cannot close my eyes
I cannot fall asleep
suffocating in doubt, all night face-down
drowning in this memory as I lay me down to sleep
I pray the memories won’t find me
hit the bottle, hit the pills, trying anything
just to forget what you did to me
won't tell my friends, won't tell my shrink
yeah, maybe I should say something
but I'm terrified you'll put the blame on me
so I live with the ghost, keep it buried deep face-down as I drown in this memory
my past is taking over me
the more I fight it, it just won't let go I cannot close my eyes
I cannot fall asleep
suffocating in doubt, all night face-down
drowning in this memory
It has me paralyzed
It's always haunting me
and no believes me 'cause no one can see it
might kill me to keep it
It's my little secret I've seen so much I can't unsee
I've learned to suffer silently
fight a war every day that no one sees
It's torture always remembering
I don't want them to think I'm weak
so I bite my tongue until it bleeds
the weight of this is breaking me
to keep it under lock and key I cannot close my eyes
I cannot fall asleep
suffocating in doubt, all night face-down
drowning in this memory
It has me paralyzed
It's always haunting me
and no believes me 'cause no one can see it
might kill me to keep it
It's my little secret face down as I drown in this memory
my past is taking over me
the more I fight it, it just won't let go
It just won't let go I cannot close my eyes
I cannot fall asleep
suffocating in doubt, all night face-down
drowning in this memory
It has me paralyzed
It's always haunting me
and no believes me 'cause no one can see it
might kill me to keep it
It's my little
my little secret